Recovered from WebArchive.com, originally published on The Newark Metro

Date is listed as September 2002, but I am pretty sure this was actually written in 2001

(Author Note: This is the oldest published piece that still exists. Huge props to ChatGPT for being able to help me track it down as I hadn’t seen this piece in a long time. Honestly, when I read this now, I feel a little embarrassed. The writing is clumsy at times and very pretentious. I also feel bad about referring to my dad as “intolerant of other races.” My dad was a complicated man, and that is such an unfair way of describing him. I know it upset my mom when I showed her the piece back when it was published, and I dismissed it at the time. 25 years later, I understand her perspective much better, and I would certainly never have written it this way now. But, this is an interest artifact showing how far I’ve come as a writer and a person, so I thought it was worth showing.)

"I want a nice backyard." This was the immediate response of Patricia Maillaro, my mother, when asked why she was moving out of Jersey City. She had lived in Jersey City her whole life, 46 years. Now, she was moving to Sayreville, a small suburban New Jersey town.

After coming into some money from an inheritance, Patricia, her husband, Ralph, my father, and their two children, Patti and myself, were able to buy their first house. My mom considered looking at houses in Jersey City, but my Dad insisted that we needed to move out of the city. "He always wanted to get out of the city and have wide-open space. He wants to live someplace where he can leave his car doors unlocked," said Patricia. "But, I don't trust anybody, I'd leave them locked no matter where we went."

Patricia is not the only person who has moved out of the city. Kenneth T. Jackson, in an article for History Channel.com, said that, "By 1990, more than 45 percent of the population, or more than 120 million people, lived in suburban areas, a far higher proportion than resided either in rural regions or in central cities. The United States had become the world's first suburban nation." Jackson is the author of the 1985 book, Crabgrass Frontier: The Suburbanization of the United States.

Patricia explained some of her reasons for leaving the city, "Jersey City has gotten so dirty. In Sayreville, there's not as much visible crime. I know there still is some crime there, but it's not so out in the open."

"Besides," she continued, "Jersey City is becoming too crowded. There are still some nice areas, but the Heights especially has way too many people."

"I just want to be able to have my own nice, clean garden, like I did when I was growing up," Patricia said. My mom grew up in the Marian section of Jersey City, which is still one of the nicest areas in town.

As we waited for the closing of the new house, we lived in the Heights. The Heights, bordered by the rich Newport waterfront and the upper middle class Marian section, consists of some of the poorest areas of Jersey City.

The search for your own space is big part of suburbanization. It is also a distinct feature of the American way of life.

"Many foreign cities end abruptly, but American cities blend into communities with broad streets and expansive lawns, which sprawl over hundreds and sometimes thousands of square miles," according to Jackson, "Of the more than 90 million dwelling units in the nation in 1990, fully two-thirds consisted of a single family living in a single dwelling surrounded by an ornamental lawn."

Economics is also a big reason for people moving to the suburbs. Even with our inheritance, we couldn't afford an expensive house. "Building lots in North America have typically been priced from one-fourth to one-half of comparably sized parcels in Europe and about one-tenth of those in Japan. This is largely because the United States is a land of spaciousness and openness in contrast to its industrial rivals. Abundant land has meant cheap land," according to Jackson.

As American prosperity developed, cities already had many closely packed houses. But the suburbs were wide-open for development. Single family houses sprung up quickly because it was relatively cheap to build them.

There were very few single-family homes available in Jersey City, so we looked to the suburbs to find our new home. We had shared space with other families all my life. My last home in Jersey City was a three family house that was legally supposed to be a two-family house.

Once, people had to live in cities because that was where the jobs were. But as transportation became cheaper and more convenient it became just as easy, and more appealing, to live outside the city and drive or take a bus or train to work. Finally, the jobs too left for suburbia.

I asked Patricia why she thought so many people moved to the suburbs. "People are tired of the hustle and bustle in the city. They just want some quiet," she said. "The suburbs give people a different attitude. People are raking their leaves, mowing their lawns and just hanging out in their yards," she added, "People seem to care a lot about their lawns in Sayreville."

Another reason for my parents moving from the city, and one my mom seemed reluctant to talk about, was race. My family has very strong Italian roots. Especially my father, who is intolerant of other races.

My father grew up on Central Avenue, when it was still almost entirely Italian and Irish. As other races began to move in, he became eager to get out. When I grew up in the Heights, being white made you a minority.

Our experience was not unique. As Jackson observed: "After the mass migration of African-Americans from the South, and especially after the Supreme Court decision in 1954 outlawing school segregation as unconstitutional, millions of families moved out of the city 'for the kids' and especially for the educational (as measured by standardized test scores) and social (as measured by family income) superiority of smaller and more homogeneous suburban school systems."

America cities were built on diversity, but suburbanization broke this down. Cities like Sayreville and Clark are noticeably white, while cities like Newark and Jersey City have concentrated minority populations.

Another reason for my family's move was that Jersey City had actually been going through a population boom over the last two decades. To my father, "That just means there are less places for me to park!"

Often after coming home from work, my father drove around the neighborhood for at least an hour looking for a place to park his car. One of the key criteria for our selecting a house was that it had to have a driveway.

Moving to the suburbs is the modern version of the American dream. Suburban life carries with it a distinct status symbol, as Jackson has observed. But that didn't make it easy for my mom.

"Moving to the suburbs scares me," Patricia said, "I went to school in Jersey City. All my relationships are here, and my children were born here. Each part of the city brings up certain memories. Not all of them are good memories, but it still is where I grew up."

Working on this piece helped me wade through my own feelings about living in the city.

I lived in Jersey City for almost my entire life. I grew up with several close friends, who also moved away. But while the rest of my family rushed to find their way out, I was in no hurry to leave my home.

Jersey City will always be my home. I fell in love there. My first job was there. Once, after breaking my leg playing basketball, I was mugged there. My girlfriend and Uncle Nick still live there. Even though we've made the move to Sayreville, my heart will always live in Jersey City.